I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize