I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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