one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize