I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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