Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize