i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize