why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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