Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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