"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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