How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize