you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
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you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
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I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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