Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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