Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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