oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
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You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
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I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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