soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize