When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize