just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
tell me about the eggs
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