Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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