Sponge bath it is.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize