Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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