Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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