everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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