The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
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Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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