please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize