Banned from zoo.
Again?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize