Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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