remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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