You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize