She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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