I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
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Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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