That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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