that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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