Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize