you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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