So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize