Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sober January is a disaster.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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