Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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