I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
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Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
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Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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