the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
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