we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize