All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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