exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize