I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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