why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize