I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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