"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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