Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
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It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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