matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize