Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i think i just lost a toe
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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