I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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